


msannomalley Reviews Jupiter Moon Menace and Demon From the Moon

by msannomalley



Series: msannomalley Reviews Battle of the Planets/Gatchaman [7]
Category: Battle of the Planets, Kagaku Ninja Tai Gatchaman & Related Fandoms, Kagaku Ninja Tai Gatchaman | Science Ninja Team Gatchaman
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-22
Updated: 2015-04-22
Packaged: 2018-03-25 07:10:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3801406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/msannomalley/pseuds/msannomalley
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Our Heroes do battle with a ginormous mechanical scorpion with digestive issues.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. msannomalley reviews Jupiter Moon Menace

**Author's Note:**

> Originally written in 2002. First posted at Gatchfanfic.com in 2008. This was written before the ADV Dubs or streaming on Hulu existed.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Behold! The debut of the...Ready Room!

It should be no surprise by now that this episode opens with the robot we, I mean, I love to hate, 7 Zark 7.  Today, says he, he's got his articulators full because of some activity coming from Jupiter, which could be bad, which naturally means Zoltar.  Zark decides to peek in on His Purpleness.  His console starts shooting sparks.  It's too hot for his scanners.  I'm not sure I want to know what Zark is seeing.  The words "too hot for" and "Zark" should never, ever, ever be used together.  Except of course if it's used in a certain fan fic written by a certain msannomalley...

Next, we're taken to Zoltar's headquarters where he's having a chat with the Big Blue Chicken, er, Oh Luminous One.  There is an extreme close up of Oh Luminous One.  The floating chicken head tells Zoltar to listen well.  Spectra has made an ally of some guy called Commander Typhon and everything they [Oh Luminous One] wants for Spectra is well within his grasp.  Or so he says.  Typhon was exiled from his home planet Scorpius and is to aid Zoltar in Spectra's conquest of Earth.  But there's a catch.  A little _quid pro quo_ if you will.   For helping Spectra, Zoltar is to help Commander Typhon defeat his rivals on Scorpius and get his planet back. 

Now we're at an ocean and The Yellow Submarine pops out of the water.  A hatch opens up and some rockets launch.  (Ringo!  NOOOOO!) Anyone familiar with the show will recognize this footage from the closing credits of the show.  The rockets launch into space, then open up, and things come out.  The things start assembling themselves, and they take the shape of a scorpion.  During this sequence, we see for the first time, this Commander Typhon.  I think I now know why he was exiled.  He looks like an _extremely_ flamboyant Bozo the Clown with a funnel on his head or the **Goofiest Sith Lord Ever**.  Yes, his only crime was a very bad sense of fashion.  I should mention that Mr. Ann O'Malley laughs his toucas off when he sees this guy.  Oh yeah, Darth Bozo reports to Zoltar.  He wants to celebrate the launch of the rockets and the fruition of their plan, but Zoltar says it's too early.

Okay, where was I?  The rockets launched, things came out, and started coming together and making a scorpion.  Rogue Bozo reports to Zoltar.  The scorpion lands on the moon, or I should say Jupiter's moon, or I really should say One of Jupiter's moons, since they don't say which one it is.  It starts spitting rocks.  I think it's supposed to be sucking in the rocks, but that's not what the animation looks like.  Then, if the rock puking weren't enough, a section of the tail opens up and then it starts **_crapping_** rocks.  Yes, it's shooting rocks out of its bum. The rocks head to Earth, which is conveniently in the background.  Odd, I thought they were on Jupiter?  Did the solar system suddenly rearrange itself?

Yes, kids, Earth's under attack from mechanical scorpion dung.  And this is what G-Force is supposed to stop in this episode.

Oh, and I forgot to mention that during the scene where the scorpion is landing, there is a hair on the film.  Back to our regularly scheduled review...

As the camera pans back to Earth, Susan from Planet Pluto calls Zark and tells him about the scorpion that is crapping rocks at Earth.  The rocks are now flaming meteors.  So the scorpion must have had some habanero peppers for lunch?   Susan says that the flaming rocks/meteors/scorpion turds will fall on Capital City. Zark says in this really cheerful and inappropriate tone of voice, considering the situation, "Big Ten, Susan."  Zark says he'll have the place evacuated.  Then Zark tells us that he has ordered G-Force to stand by in their Ready Room while Zark finds out what's going on. 

Oh no.  The Infamous Ready Room Sequences...

In said Ready Room, with it's extremely 1970's decor, the team is talking about the scorpion that craps flaming rocks.  We see Princess with her guitar.  Tiny is in a chair, scarfing down "space burgers".  Mark and Jason are playing ping pong, and Keyop is playing the drums.  It's not what they're doing, but how **HORRENDOUSLY DRAWN** they are.  I want to weep and weep hysterically.  Princess looks really boxy and is wearing a bullet bra. And somehow, Jason lost a couple inches in height, which was somehow transferred to Mark, not to mention that somehow their hair got longer.  And when they play ping pong, they're sticking their butts out. 

I'm not even going to get into the fact that I cannot picture Jason being a ping pong player. 

Mark misses his aim, and a ping pong ball goes flying and knocks the spaceburger from Tiny's hand.  Zark calls them and briefs them on the situation and we get even more close-ups of them.  It's not a pretty sight.  It's enough to make a Fan Girl cry.  Oh, and then we learn the name of the moon that the scorpion is on.  Callisto.

And why is there a picture of a burger on the wall?

Anyway, they assemble when they're being briefed.  Then when they're to go, the part of the floor they're standing on drops and their hair flies up as they all go "G-Force!" 

Now we're back to the regular, good animation.  The team runs to the Phoenix, and we get to see them all in the bubble.  Then a door opens and the Phoenix is underwater and then we get to see the ship take off.  They're headed for space, and then there's a long, protracted scene of them flying to Callisto. 

When they get there, Princess says that it's not so ugly and barren as she thought it was.  Uh, yes it is.  Then they see the meteorites.  The rocks head towards the Phoenix, which dodges out of the way.  Jason says, "Those things are headed for Earth and they'll be balls of fire when they get there."  Thanks for stating the obvious, Jase.  And by the way, is there something wrong with you today?  You don't quite seem yourself...

Anyhoo, Mark says that "they [Spectra] have complete control over the meteorites.  They can pinpoint where they land." 

Cut to Darth Bozo.  He sees the Phoenix and proclaims that G-Force is puzzled by the meteorites.  Then Darth Bozo makes some pompous bad guy proclamations, like all bad guys do. 

Back to Zark.  He tells us that those meteorites are still showering down on Earth and pretty much helpless.  Then he wishes that he had a clearer picture of what's going on.  Yes, Zark the compulsive neat freak cleans his monitors for the umpteen billionth time.  They still squeak and he does it with a dry cloth.  Then he freaks out because he sees a horrible new monster.  No, wait, that was only Zark's reflection.  It wasn't the first time Zark made that mistake.  And your attempt at self deprecating humor was really sad, too.  Zark says that Darth Bozo is messing with the Phoenix's radar transducer something or other and Zark wants to figure out a way to help G-Force out of this jam. 

Then we see some Green Goons and Bozo the Rouge Clown.  Then the Yellow Submarine reappears and a satellite dish pops out (Ringo's getting cable? Wrestlemania 354,502?) and they do something that zaps out something on the Phoenix.  On the ship, Princess goes, "Mark, we're in trouble! All of our electronic detectors are going crazy!"

Cut to Darth Bozo laughing.  Darth Bozo sounds an awful lot like Zark. 

Cut to Callisto.  The crapping scorpion rolls itself in a ball and starts flying to Earth.  I want to mention that I have been sorely tempted, from reading Ayako's Gatchaman Episode Nine Review , to refer to this week's mech as the "Super Shittin' Scorpion Mecha" only because I think that's a very funny line (and Ms. Ann's a teensy bit jealous that she didn't think of this one herself).  But I have resisted temptation and did not refer to this week's mech as such and I think Ms. Ann deserves a pat on the back!

[pats self on back]

Okay, back to this review.

On board the Phoenix, G-Force spots the scorpion.  Keyop goes, "Skyrockets!"  And at this point in the DVD, Mr. Ann goes, "In flight."  And thanks to him, I've got that dreadful "Afternoon Delight" song stuck in my head.  _("A-a-a-a-a-afternoon delight!")_   On a side note, when I was around the age I would have been when I originally saw this episode, I thought that the song _Afternoon Delight_ was about going camping out in the woods, and not about the whitest, most bland ode to the quickie ever written in the history of music (and a song that gives me hives).  Forgive me, I was but a small child at the time. 

Okay, back to the episode again. 

Keyop said skyrockets.  Then Mark says, "It's headed straight for Earth!"  Princess goes, "Oh no!  We got to stop it!"  Mark declares that G-Force has to follow it all the way back to Earth.  Well, duh, Mark!  Were you planning on stopping out on Pluto first? 

Then Jason says that their "rocket missiles" ought to knock it out.  Okay, before I go any further, could the writers please settle on one name for the missiles on the Phoenix?  Thank you.  Mark goes, "If not..." to which Jason replies, "Then we really are in big trouble."  Of course, Jason shoots missiles at the scorpion, and today they don't do any good. 

So now G-Force really is in big trouble.  But I get the sense that something isn't right here, because there's usually a big argument about firing the missiles and Mark gets more authoritative than necessary and usually touches Jason when he really doesn't need to, and Jason yells back or says something sarcastic.  But they don't do it in this episode.  Jason, are you sure you're okay?

Jason goes to Mark, "We're not making points."  Then Mark wants to know what they're target is, and he asks, "Jason, can you tell me what they're target is?"  Princess interjects in this melodramatic voice, "Their target is Earth!"  Again, Mark...DUH!  Please tell me how Mark got to be the Commander?  He's shown moments of stupidity, but today it's just really bad. 

Then Jason says that since they can't stop it, the next best thing is to inform Zark, who already knows. 

Okay, something is really wrong here.  Usually, Jason wants to do something about it, even if the situation seems hopeless.  He'll even try to do something, even when no one else will.  He'll make an attempt to rectify things, even when the others try and stop him.  It may not be the right course of action sometimes, but he does try.

**WHO IS THE POD PERSON IN THE CONDOR'S UNIFORM AND WHAT HAS HE DONE WITH JASON?????????**

Anyway, Zark says that the scorpion is targeting some power place.  Mark wants to go there.  Zark says he managed to evacuate the place and robot defenses are being deployed.  Zark tells G-Force to stay where they are and to find Darth Bozo, because that's who is controlling the scorpion with the defecation problem. 

Jason goes, "Our instruments don't work."  Zark tells the team to reverse the polarity on some thingamajig.  Mark orders Princess to do it.  She says she might not be able to do it, because this magnetic tape probe thingamabob was just installed.  Don't you just hate it when you get new stuff and there are bugs in it that can't be fixed?  Anyway, she pulls out this 8-track tape and Mark basically re-spools it.   

It works and then they find Darth Bozo. Except radar shows he's in the ocean on Planet Spectra.  So G-Force heads for Spectra.  It's a sunny day on Spectra as the team dives into the ocean.  After some travel, Tiny cuts the jets.  Mark thinks that this is a good idea and says that they'll "coast" there.  Then they come across the Yellow Submarine, and Mark says that they'll have to "do a little skin diving" to get there. 

Next, we see four of the team wearing fins, snorkels, and air tanks, but bathing suits instead of wetsuits, swimming underwater.  Yep, Tiny got left behind again and he's not too thrilled.  He says that it's giving him a complex.

Well, anyway, they're swimming and then they stop to hide behind some rocks.  It looks like Keyop is wearing a Speedo or a red diaper or something.  Then this motorized sting ray comes by.  The team hitches a ride and now it looks like Keyop is starkers!  It really does! 

 The mech goes into the Yellow Submarine.  Then we see some goons getting out and then the team, who are now back in uniform.  The goons head toward this elevator and then G-Force follows them into the elevator.  Then G-Force beat the snot out of them, but we don't get to see that. 

Then we cut to Darth Bozo, who is watching the scorpion doing the Lambada.  Darth Bozo laughs.  Then a goon enters, says, "Excuse me, sir."  Darth Bozo goes, "What?"  Then the goon says something else, but Darth Bozo demands the goon speak up.  The goon falls to the floor, and hiding behind him the whole time it was G-Force. Mark tells Darth Bozo that it's all over now.  Then Darth Bozo tells a goon to push an emergency button.  But G-Force stops him.   There's a confusing fight sequence where we see bullets that seem to come out of nowhere, but Princess somehow takes credit for destroying the thing that controlled the scorpion. On the viewscreen, the scorpion falls down. 

Then Darth Bozo cackles about the meteorites being on their way to earth and makes his escape.  Now G-Force is locked in the room.  On the Phoenix, Tiny spots the escaping villain and goes after him, but he can't get the ship through a narrow passage between some rocks.  Back in the room, Mark says that they're locked up in the room and Tiny is out there.  He doesn't seem to have a clue as to what to do next, because he says he's open for ideas.  Jason suggests that they use Princess's yo-yo bomb.  Maybe Jason is returning to normal?  I can hope, can't I?

Princess launches it and it sticks in the crack in the door.  Then Mark says that there is going to be a lot of shrapnel flying around.  Then for some unexplained reason, the team gets together with their wings spread.  Then there's a shot of the yo-yo bomb.  Then Mark tells them to get ready to form the Whirlwind Pyramid.  The bomb goes off and then the team starts spinning, four individual whirlwinds that join together and blow the shrapnel away.  Okay, so that's why they got together like that.  Now they make their escape.

Cut to the flaming meteors.  The Phoenix flies through them.  On board, Princess says that the meteorites have reversed.  Then Jason goes, "The destruction of the scorpion turned them around."  But he says this in a flat kind of voice.  Then Mark contacts Earth and tells Chief Anderson, who we see for the first time, that the mission has been accomplished.  The Chief says that thanks to G-Force, and the robot fighters, whose planes look suspiciously like those Fighters from Mir in Episode Five, when the scorpion was destroyed the meteors went away because the scorpion controlled the meteors.

Huh?

Then Mark says something to the effect of Zoltar not succeeding even when he teamed up with a man as mad as himself.  Then Jason says that this is a good example of how two wrongs don't make a right. 

Okay, Jason is really not himself today.  Mark usually dispenses with the moral platitudes.  Could somebody please tell me what's going on here?

Then Mark asks Zark for clearance to land.  Zark says that his "psychometer" (his psycho-meter?) indicates smooth sailing.  So G-Force heads for home, another mission accomplished.

Then we're in Zark's ready room and he's taking another one of his ten second oil breaks.  Then he says something about G-Force being heroes.  Then One Rover One yaps.  What's he saying?  I don't know.  Zark, for once, doesn't want to take credit for something he didn't do. He says that they just have to be content to bask in reflective glory.

So there's a pod Zark?

A girl can dream, can't she?

* * *

**A Few Thoughts From Ms. Ann:**

I said it before and I'll say it again:

WHO IS THE POD PERSON IN THE CONDOR'S UNIFORM AND WHAT HAVE THEY DONE WITH JASON?????

I want to know who wrote this episode because it seemed that everyone is way out of character here.  Like I said before, Mark has his moments of stupidity on this show, but in this one, he's really dumb!  And it seemed like someone must have shot Jason with a tranquilizer or force fed him lithium or something because he was just totally not himself either. 

I'm wanting to not comment on Keyop being starkers because I haven't written the Gatchaman episode review yet and the Japanese have different attitudes concerning nudity than what we do.  But how in the hell did that one particular shot get past the Action for Children's Television?  God forbid we show someone's butt!

And the ready room...

All I can say right now at this point is that when I was eight years old, I couldn't tell the difference between the poorly drawn ready room shots and the regular footage.  I swear it.  Seeing it now makes me cringe.


	2. msannomalley reviews Jupiter Moon Menace

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This episode review was originally written in April or May of 2002, long before the ADV Gatchaman Box Sets were released.    The review was written from the subtitled Gatchaman episode that was included on the Rhino DVD of Battle of the Planets.   All names and dialogue were taken from the Rhino Sub.

This episode opens right at the main Galactor headquarters.  Berg Katse is reporting to Sosai X.  X says to Katse that the time has come for Galactor to conquer Earth.  X goes onto say that their [Galactor's] great science has acquired enough power to rule the Earth.  Then X says, "Go, Katse!  Now is the time to show our power to the humans."  Katse says he understands.

Next, we're at the ocean.  The Yellow Submarine pops out of the water.  A hatch opens and these rockets pop out.  Inside, the commander of the week...

Okay, I'll refer to him as Commander Funnel Head in this one, too.

The commander of the week tells Katse that everything is ready and they are awaiting orders. Katse says that now is the time to demonstrate their power to the world.  He tells Commander Funnel Head not to fail.

The rockets are launched and they fly into space and towards the moon.  In space, things come out of the rockets and these things assemble themselves into a scorpion.  The scorpion lands on the moon, starts puking rocks and crapping them towards Earth. 

I'm wondering if someone in the Galactor organization is really into bathroom humor.

The scene slowly pans back to Earth and it's a typical evening in a big city.  People are walking the sidewalks.  A man, stopping, spies something.  He points up and goes, "What's that?"  Everyone stops and looks. Then a woman cries out, "Meteors!"  Flaming rocks are hurtling towards the city.  People run away and try to take cover, but the meteors destroy buildings and kill people.

In order to find out what in the h-e-double hockey sticks is going on, the International Science Organization, or ISO, launches a rocket to observe what is going on. The rocket, though, is in trouble.

 As Dr. Nambu, Chief Anderson, and some guy who looks like he belongs in the Mafia observe, an SOS call comes from the rocket.  Chief Anderson (who is President Kane in BotP because Chief Anderson in BotP is Nambu in Gatchaman.) wants to know what's going on.  Nambu thinks that maybe the rocket was attacked by someone. Anderson says that now they can't solve the mystery of the meteors.  Nambu says that they're analyzing the meteorite composite. 

Now we're in the ready room, but not THE ready room.  This is a different ready room because the animation is much, much better, the Science Ninja Team is waiting.  Just waiting.  No ping pong game (like Joe would play ping pong anyway. Or Ken for that matter.).  No drum solo.  No guitars.  No sitting around and eating. No pictures of burgers on the wall.  Jinpei flops down on a couch and says, "Let me handle this.  I'll beat them up."  Then he asks, "Galactor is behind this, right, aniki?"  Ken replies, "Jinpei, we can't say that for sure.  What we know for sure, is..."  Then Jun goes, "What?"  Ken says, "This could lead to the end of the Earth."  Joe goes, "Shit, no doubt about it.  It's Galactor."  Ryu observes, "The doctor is taking his time."

Right on cue, Dr. Nambu enters the room and apologizes for keeping the team waiting.  He walks into the room, puffs out his chest, and says that he's been analyzing the meteorite composite.  Ken wants to know if the doctor found anything out.  He says that he's collected samples of the meteorites from around the world and they all appear to be moon rocks.  Ken asks if Nambu contacted the space station on the moon.  Nambu says that they cannot get in touch with them because the base and the satellites have all stopped functioning.  Ken tells Nambu to let the Science Ninja Team handle this.  They will take the God Phoenix as far as they can and investigate.  Nambu gives the okay.  Ken turns to the others and orders the Science Ninja Team to mobilize.  The others all go, "Okay" and they say it in English.

Next, they're running down a corridor and going to the God Phoenix.  We see them jump into the bubble and then we see water coming into the docking bay.  The God Phoenix takes off for the moon.  Ken warns the team about the G-force they will encounter on the flight, and then we see the team as they are affected by the G-force (no pun intended).

When they get to the moon, Jun goes, "Beautiful!  I've never seen the moon up so close!" I have a comment about this remark, but I'm going to let it slide for once.

Then they see the meteorites coming towards them.  The God Phoenix gets out of the way.  Joe says that it looks like the meteors are heading for Earth.  Then we see the scorpion and more meteors which go to Earth.  Ken goes, "So that's how it was done.  Only Galactor would dare do something like this!"

Speaking of Galactor, Commander Funnel Head and some goons are watching the goings on by monitor.  Commander Funnel Head cackles, "The Science Ninja Team must be stunned!  But there are more surprises to come!"  Then he orders a goon to power up the remote and bring back the Scorpion Rocket.  Goons are seen pulling levers and pushing buttons.  Commander Funnel Head goes, "We give this radio wave energy to the Scorpion Rocket and it will become a giant monster and rampage the Earth."  He goes onto say, "Moreover, if we send this energy for a few seconds, it will store enough power for 30 hours." 

I have a question.  Who, in normal conversation, uses the word 'moreover'?  I've used it when I've written reports for school when I was younger.  But I don't think I've ever heard anyone use it in a normal conversation.

Anyway, Commander Funnel Head points out that no one will be able to trace them because of this energy thing whatever.  Then the Yellow Submarine pops out of the water and then we see a satellite dish.  It shoots something into space.

On the God Phoenix, Jun tells Ken that she just detected this "strange, powerful radio wave." 

Back on the Yellow Submarine, Commander Funnel Head says, "Go Scorpion Rocket!  Be a monster and destroy the Earth!"  Be a monster?  So the Scorpion Rocket is not all that powerful and scary and stuff like that?

On the moon, the Scorpion rolls itself into a ball and lifts off, heading towards Earth.

Duuhh-da-da-duh-da-da-da-DA!  Gatchaman!

Okay, now that we're back from commercial, we see meteors heading towards the Earth and more destruction. In space, the Scorpion is floating.  Ken sees it and wants to know what it is.  Jun, Jinpei, and Joe come closer to get a better look.  The God Phoenix is flying towards the rolled up scorpion.  The scorpion picks of speed and is probably re-entering the Earth's atmosphere, as it's a ball of flame.

Jinpei goes, "A huge meteor!  What if it hits Earth?"  Ken goes, "It's weird.  That's not a meteor."  Jun goes, "What is it?" Ken doesn't know, but he is sure that once it hits Earth, it will be nothing but disaster. 

Joe, of course, wants to blow it up with Bird Missiles.  Ken is all, "Joe!"  Joe tells Ken that they can't wait for Dr. Nambu's authorization.  Joe fires the missiles at the flaming ball of mech, but they don't do anything to the scorpion.  Ken goes, "No!  Not even Bird Missiles have an effect."  Joe says, "Shit!" and fires more missiles at the thing, but they don't do any good. 

Joe wants to know what they should do.  Ken says it's too late.  The scorpion is approaching Earth.  Jun panics and says that it will hit the Earth.  Then we see Commander Funnel Head laughing.  Then we see the ball of fire falling, then Ken's face up close, and then Commander Funnel Head laughing again. 

The flaming ball of scorpion lands and it's not good.  On the God Phoenix, Ken closes his eyes because they couldn't stop the mech in time.  Then we see the scorpion unroll itself and rise up.  Then the team sees the scorpion.  Ryu says it looks like a scorpion.  This is not a "no duh" moment, because up until this point, the team hasn't seen the actual scorpion, just a big ball of flame.  Joe says, "Damn Galactor.  We'll defeat them no matter what.  We won't let it ravage the Earth." 

Then Nambu appears on the monitor.  He tells the team that the defense forces will deal with the scorpion and the Science Ninja Team is to locate the base that is controlling the scorpion.  Joe goes, "But doctor..." But Nambu interrupts him and says, "I wish you success!"  Then he fades out. 

Ken tells Jun to trace the suspicious radio wave.  Jun says that the data is stored in a recording device, but the tape was too short.  Ken tells her to get the device.  Jun goes, "Okay, okay!  How scary!"  Ryu and Jinpei just exchange looks.  Then Ken gets up to go and see.  He pulls the tape out and basically re-spools it so it will record on the other side.  Jun apparently likes what Ken did and says so.  Ken goes, "If you like it, stare at it as long as you want."  Excuse me for a moment...

[Ms Ann has to leave the room so she can laugh and laugh and laugh until she nearly pees herself.]

In the immortal words of local late night bad movie host, Ned the Dead, "What was dat?"  Ken's way of saying, "Take a picture, it will last longer?" 

Okay.  Then Ken tells Jun to put the tape into the playback machine.  Jinpei says, "Aniki, you're so smart."  Once the device is back in, the Science Ninja Team is able to trace it and trace it, they do.  The radio wave came from the ocean bottom, 12.5 miles southwest of  Azlas Island. Then the team heads for that area. 

Back by the scorpion, the conventional army doesn't do dick.  The scorpion is attacking the Eiffel Tower, or is it that one tower in Japan that looks like the Eiffel Tower, but whose name escapes me at the moment?  Probably the latter.  Well, who should show up but Red Impulse, who tangle with the scorpion. 

Back to the Science Ninja Team.  They are now underwater and they discover the Yellow Submarine.  Ken, Joe, Jun, and Jinpei are going to sneak inside.  Ryu wants to know what about him?  Ken tells him he's staying on the God Phoenix.  Ryu is not too thrilled about that.  He says, "Damn, not again!  Boring!" 

The other four don bathing suits and scuba gear and swim to the Yellow Submarine.  They hitch a ride on a stingray mech into the base.  And yes, it looks like Jinpei is starkers in this one, too.  Goons get out of the stingray and the team follow them into an elevator, in uniform and kill them, except for one.  When the elevator door opens, Ken has one by the throat and he demands the goon take the team to his commander. 

In the command center, Commander Funnel Head laughs as he watches the Scorpion rampage.  A goon enters the room.  He goes, "Captain."  Commander Funnel Head goes, "What?"  The goon says captain again, then falls over.  Behind him was Ken.  Commander Funnel Head goes, "Gatchaman!"  The rest of the team appears and then the goons are ordered to fire at them.  Joe, Jun, and Jinpei take care of the goons.  Then Commander Funnel Head orders a goon to call for help.  The goon goes to press a button, but Jun knocks him out with her yo-yo bomb.  Ken demands that Commander Funnel Head tell him where the control for the scorpion and the meteors are.  Commander Funnel Head refuses to tell.  Joe cocks his gun and Commander Funnel Head is all scared.  Jun is all "Joe", but Joe fires.  The bullets take out the control and the scorpion falls down.  Jun goes, "Look, the scorpion is falling down."  Joe says, "We did it."  Commander Funnel Head points out that the meteors are still headed for Earth.  Then he says, "Die, Science Ninja Team" before he escapes.  Ken orders them to get out, but the doors are locked.   Commander Funnel Head escapes, and Ryu sees this and goes after him, but loses him because the God Phoenix gets stuck between some rocks. 

Back in the Yellow Submarine, Jinpei says that they have to do something or they'll be dead.  Ken says, "Okay, let's take a chance."  Then he orders Jun to put her yo-yo bomb in a wall.  Joe points out, "Ken, if we do that, we could die." Ken just says to do as he says.  Jun obliges.  Then Ken tells everyone to gather in a corner and to spread their wings around them.  They do that.  Then he says, "At the moment of explosion, we'll rotate together."  The bomb goes off, shrapnel flies, and the team do four individual Tornado Fighters and then they merge into one.  This keeps the shrapnel from hurting them.  Then they escape. 

They hook up with Ryu.  Meteors are falling into the ocean near the Yellow Submarine and then we see the God Phoenix flying.  Jun goes, "That was close."  Joe says, "They can't get us that easily."  Ken calls Nambu to tell him the mission was accomplished.  Nambu tells the team that once the scorpion lost control, the defense forces basically trashed it. 

After the check-in, Jun remarks on how beautiful the night sky is.  Ken goes, "It's peaceful only for this moment.  Unless we destroy Galactor, a real peace is not coming to the Earth."  Then Joe vows, "We'll do it with our hands.  One day, we will." 

What happened to the narrator?

Wait, here he is.  The narrator says, as the God Phoenix is flying in the night sky, "The horrible battle is over.  A beautiful starry night has returned over the Earth.  Unless we defeat Galactor, we can't keep such a beautiful peace. Go, Science Ninja Team!" 

* * *

**A Few Thoughts From Ms. Ann:**

I liked this version better than the BotP version, simply because it made more sense and there were no pod characters in it.  They cut a lot out of this one when it became the BotP episode.  I suppose that's why we got their Ready Room scene.  I think they could have used this one, instead.  There was nothing wrong with it. 

Regarding G-4 being starkers, when I watch this one, at first, I thought it was neglectfulness on the animator's part and they forgot to color in his bathing suit.  But at second glance, there is definite cheekage and crack going on, so I think maybe it was done on purpose, just to see if anyone would notice.  What still surprises me is how that bit still ended up in BotP.  Did the censors not notice?  Remember when NYPD Blue first aired and much was made about the profanity and Dennis Franz's naked butt cheeks?  And that was an adult show aired long after the kiddies went to bed! 

Yes, I live in a nation of prudes.  We're not all prudes, but the ones who are happen to be the ones who scream about exposed flesh the loudest. 

In the Narrator's closing remarks, what is this "we" business?  Does he fancy himself G-6?  He didn't go on any mission.  He just stood in his safe, comfy recording booth, recording the voice over. 

The next episode is, well, you'll have to see it.  It's got one of Berg Katse's more bizarre costumes.  Even more bizarre than the Katzenberge get-up from Episode Seven. 


End file.
